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balance (2): January 2014

Friday, January 31, 2014

blind-y

thinking of starting an advice column for abused and addicted kids, getting on their feet in the world. teaching the kids yoga techniques and talking about sex. it's what i did in my one day of jail and my therapist keeps reminding me of that and how rewarding it was for me. and of the fact that my story is extreme and i should be dead but am now successful, so i am a good mentor for some of them. i would rather do a podcast but i don't know of any interesting guests in real life! maybe i can recruit. i also want to put a section on this site where people can book trips with me on a calendar. maybe i can kickstart the better ideas for trips, so i have interesting travel companions, and write about them. i can do a podcast with them (or anyone interesting- damn the lack of those people in my life lately! now is when i do start to miss the crazy ex.) i have to have a partner who loves catsitting at my house to do all this stuff but i think i have the guy! as long as meow is in good shape to leave him with him sometimes. and when i am home i can do an opinions section of williamsburg's offerings of all sorts or something. yup. theo's and my idea from a long time ago…

ugh. i need the so-called 'rage to master' to set upon me. fury. haha. my therapist keeps telling me to live up to my name. express my anger. there is a whole unrecognized side of myself that is passive. you think you know 'you' and then you start digging and taking second and third looks… pretty cool. you see your obsessive habitual traps. your comfort zone. i have to thank both yoga training and therapy for that. heck, even jail, as i mentioned above, and the whole ordeal with the court system. i now recognize a lot of stagnant or dormant parts of myself. i need to learn to express them, especially in some organized fashion that might finance itself!!!

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