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balance (2): midpoint

Friday, March 2, 2012


so as my 2nd month in costa rica commences, i have become a bit more anxious. now the novelty of paradise has worn off (a bit! still absolutely loving it!).

til now it has been amazing. i have rarely felt so at home. i love my huge dark house in the jungle with silent expanses of polished wood, a hammock, a different insect or animal to traipse upon every day in every corner both inside and outside it. i love flying on my bike, under amazing canopies of trees full of growling howler monkeys and eyelash vipers and sloths. i love doing yoga with my teacher who is imperturbably positive and perfectly in shape, and who massages the necks of everyone in the class with smelly balm. i love the caribbeans with their dreadlocks and reggae- real rasta guys instead of the fakes i met in thailand! i love trying a new restaurant every evening, and the few nice people i have encountered coincidentally, like the venezuelan guy 'funky' and his twin who were born on the same exact day as me, whom i met on that day, my birthday. and a friend of my crazy hustling english girl friend 'e' (whom i sequestered from the lynch mob in thailand at my other house in the jungle, because she had run out of money and pissed a lot of people off). the friend, 's', is sweet but hard. she has some horror stories about murders and robberies in this town (well, everyone has horror stories about robbery in this town). i also like to watch (but not talk to because they have snobby girlfriends) the surfer boys- both caribbean and american, on the color changing beaches. i like their scruffy cleanness.

now i am starting to realize i gotta figure my shit out though, before returning to NY and to my crazy ex boyfriend who brings out a crazy me. i have given up on meeting new people (someone has to make the effort with me sometime, seriously). i have been frantically searching not only for side projects since IBM is not giving me so much work, but i have also been looking for a house with a yard in boulder, colorado (sigh my home's curse) to move to ASAP (i want a medicinal herb garden, a place to hang my hammock, and a puppy). i did do a social network site i am pretty proud of (in one day!) for my neighborhood in brooklyn, which said ex 't' can use to promote all his activities, which at least are more upstanding than usual lately. i wish there was someone here to date, that is the piece i am missing. so far, unless i want to go out with a keyboardist older than my mother, pickings are slim to nonexistent. so i sit alone in my house, or on my porch, or on my bike, or at a restaurant. on the weekends, like tomorrow morning, i will get up and ride to the local farmer's market, slink around the edges not making much in the way of eye contact. get coffee and read my book while the beach boys check me out curiously and i ignore them purposely. then take my mat on my bike a couple of miles to one of the most raw and beautiful beaches i have ever been to, and stick my toes in the water, and breathe. i will probably encounter various wildlife, as usual. i will ride past the ceremonious singing in tongues to drums that the caribbean folk do at a certain house on sundays. i will maybe take some sort of tour like zip lining or raw food cooking. i will wish i could stay here forever.



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