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balance (2): blah

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

blah

it's definitely winter now and i am not sure if it is the fact that it is a nipply 20 degrees outside, the fact that i have stupidly accepted way too much work from clients, the fact that i have not really left my bed much at all, the fact that i have been swallowing tramadols like they're m&ms, or the fact that my bf-of-sorts has been mostly sleeping at his house lately (probably for the best) that has me feeling insanely witchy.

sigh. i know this about myself. i get evilly out of sorts this gray and gloomy time of year. i hate that the sun sets around 4:30p. i hate that it's christmas and i don't have anyone around to care about. i hate that i can't just walk happily around my neighborhood in flip flops and pet doggies. i hate that i start to detest & revile anyone in my immediate proximity. especially if they are fat and loud and obnoxious and damaged and gross and stupid!

...thank the lordy for radiolab. for psychology and astral physics video lectures from the web. for netflix and kayak and youporn. for bottles of white wine, footy pajamas, and the thick brainless hardcover book i am reading myself to sleep with. thanks for my new handheld herb vaporizor which looks moronic but does the job nicely. thanks for my tickets to an island just off cancun next week. thanks for somehow making me just wimpy enough to never be able to put myself out of my misery.

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