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balance (2): March 2010

Friday, March 19, 2010


i don't talk to my roommates any more since all i do is hang out in my room and smoke pot while i work on a project, basking in sunbeams and occasionally switching to doing yoga.... a bit reclusive yes (it was the same in thailand come to think of it!) and i think they are mad at me. but i don't deserve suspicion. i do talk to the dog a lot!

occasionally i sneak out, buy a coffee from whichever shop i feel like seeing the same people at, and walk down the runway that is my street (in williamsburg, brooklyn- hipster capital of the world. hipsters are yuppies in disguise i think. they are like the neighbors who have been bitten by zombies and not yet turned. the transformation is in progress though, trust me. the strollers and bland boutiques are popping up.)... i slither underground, to the subway, at odd hours, to the office/loft i am working at part of the time, by the hudson river- snaking from the east side of NYC to the west, through the tunnels full of monotonous stairs to drag myself up and down and up, with fascinating quirks of strangers to stare at blatantly from behind my big headphones on the trains (they never even notice, it's so not done, the looking at each other. it's breaking a taboo!)...i walk through project housing towering cheerfully over junkies slumped and drooling beneath (i think heroin is an east coast drug. on the west coast of the states i noticed more crack). smiling pigtailed minority kids play ball on cement playgrounds. accented old men greet each other with canes and pats on the shoulder. i twist amongst all the empty cobbled streets lined with construction vehicles and art galleries, in the 'hood near the piers, to get to meetings. the people in the office are nice- they don't annoy me anyway- they wear normal clothes and they are not too full of themselves (like some agencies, cough cough)... there is a big quiet bathroom with mirrors where i go to breathe when i have had too much of them. they also have barbecues on the big porch on the 8th floor, straddling the river. and a breeze blows two states (jersey and NY) in and out of your ears from the distant view. we had a meeting in the sun the other day. i let the office puppy lick peanut butter from my fingers and politely drank a coke zero... but mostly i work from my bed in my sunny corner room at home, the noise of my music or DVD competing with sounds of the neighborhood from the street (the wailing of the broken siren from the firehouse right next to me. the singing of the ice cream carts which are coming out for spring).

blahhhh not much else to say. real life here, no fun stories- no sex or rock and roll, just mild drugging. i get drunk with my nabe and his friends (who are mine too by implicit default) in various local bars on some nights. we talk incessantly about relationships. we walk around, we poke fun at each other. we desperately try to pull people in our own pathetic little ways (mine is to project the exact opposite of how i am feeling, ha. or be solicitous. works none of the time!)...still single, but i do go out. i have seen a little independent comedy show that some friends did in my 'hood, which was fun. accidentally ran into them the very next night too, in the east village, where i was moshing in a little punk club with 't', my thai friend, and his friends. i still walk to the waterfront (of the east river, when i am home) to tickle the bellies of the cats at the shelter. i found a great apartment near there which i covet badly, but the awkward slob of a landlord trapped me and tried to convert me to christianity for an hour on the porch, and is being weird about accepting a deposit (?!) so i am skeptical and scared to move in.

i dream about my next trip, to cuba. but i am okay meanwhile, in the present. i just have to learn how to shake a little decadence into an otherwise pretty normal and dull existence!

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Monday, March 15, 2010

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Monday, March 8, 2010


my friend makes this crazy software. one version lets you install it remotely onto someone else's phone, and you can track everything they say or text as well as their location! i admit i might have used that on the promiscuous and lying 'x' at one point in our long ago relationship! (bastard)... otherwise, my friend has some government buyers at the ready, and has already made tons of money... flexispy. tell your friends.

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Tuesday, March 2, 2010


today the clients i met with were: a witty and mustaschioed astronaut/rocket scientist who shot playful but honest barbs from the hip to the aged, eccentric (almost bouncing!) professor and inventor at NYU who was visiting...there was a droning neuro-something-or-other-scientist cohort whom everyone pretty much ignored, until he whispered something brilliant, loudly enough, from the phone. some very intelligent, technically inclined millionaire investors (who feel like nabes), and the salesman/ideator cowboy who keeps them (and us) all lassoed in... on my side there is a brilliant scraggle-faced developer who can talk about or slap out anything technical and whose startups made him a well-networked millionaire when he was (is) younger than i. and a smart fancy agency girl who keeps track of who is doing's nice to be amongst such great minds, especially in NY!!! i have not been involved in the strategic side of things before! i can't handle it for too much of the time (too many people!), and my job is ultimately to take away and map out structurally/visually the results of all this thinking... to build a new software application. which is intimidating because i wasn't always paying attention ;P ... but at least i am over my social anxiety (good meds) a bit. and it is very interesting to me....

i think what helps in this company (small agency) i am working for is that they are friendly, accommodating, the office has soft lighting and dark corners, it's a big old loft on the hudson river that is quickly being constructed into a much bigger office. they try to be casual. i don't have to be there except for important meetings, which yesterday was my being driven super recklessly by our verbose and happy client in a car with my teammates out to the countryside in new jersey, past snowmen and lakes, where we went to this other businessman's mansion, played with his super fluffy dog next to a fireplace, envied his spoiled happy kids, and drank wine from his private winery next to his extremely expensive sportscars!!!! it was nice, to say the least. i could work like this pretty regularly off and on i think. i just can’t do the 9-5!

…the only problem is they are short term, part time, and don't pay much...! I have to spend all my extra time looking for a better job! :(

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