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balance (2): trippin

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

trippin

don't go to england to get away from NY in winter was the moral of the past couple of weeks. but it was still a much needed break, that ranged from wallowing in sullen despair and boredom, staring at the wall of a cold row house in reading, a suburb 40 minutes outside of london by train (rolls eyes and wishes i had pryed more as to location before buying my ticket). and being mad at my friend for not telling me she had no intention of hanging out with me (chatting online with her boyfriend instead, when not bitching about him). i was dying to discover the underground of london, & not being able to go anywhere else because england shuts down on holidays (no public transport or food- why didn't i know that?) almost made me crack!!!.... somehow we managed- her with her occasional dash across the ice in her little red car to a shopping center when they opened, and me with movies on my laptop and cups of tea. we had a gossip with the irish farmgirl alcoholic roommate and a few cozy, if silent, pub dinners in there too, and i felt like i was just living normal days in england. i think fondly of the alcoholic drinks and the accents. i like the bumbling, open, nonchalant english way of things.

in the middle, when things finally opened up again, it pissed rain. NY pisses rain too (or snow), but i never go out in it. especially when it is super cold. i just stay in my house. so do most londoners i assume. anyway 'y' and i rented a flat in kentish town, right next to camden, my favorite little hipster punk area of the city. i spent a very cold day touring it alone, but i liked all the little thrifty shops, hookah cafes, kebab stands, pubs. later 'y' and i ended up so offended by each others' contrasting opinions, habits, mannerisms, ambitions, and priorities (! phew) that we started avoiding each other as much as possible, or having to press our lips together and promise to restrain ourselves from saying what we really thought to each other. i didn't really see that coming but i think it'll be ok in the long run. it is just so hard for me to be close to someone so opposing in every way. telling me that she hates artists and thinks they should get real jobs and lives!... just set me right over that fence.... or telling me she aspires to corporate slavedom and posh labels. or telling me she would be pissed off if i let someone smoke marijuana in someone else's house!... these are just alien thoughts to very liberal me. as much as i feel like she is my young sister i give up trying to show her my way of life and have no interest in seeing hers.

yep, i guess this trip was about friends. i have a lot more of them from england than i do in the US. later on my trip changed to ecstatic joy at last, with old friends (and their babies/drug habits/weird propensity to get into bed with me/musical instruments and art). a few of whom traipsed in and out of various rooms i was in. the nerdy cockney boys i spent last christmas and new year with in thailand. the girls who were my best blonde yoga, life, and party friends on my island in thailand. some other thailand people in a party full of actors, comedians, musicians, and one terrifyingly large speed freak from nigeria and his matching rottweiler. friends kissing on new years at midnight and proclaiming undying love as they put me in a taxi. friends on my phone saying sorry they missed me, and on facebook too. it was so nice to be surrounded by people that i love.... and so rare for me...

i seriously considered moving to london! there is a lot more work for what i do there and all i have to do is buy some visa and i can work.... hmmmm. dreaming of a cute english boyfriend but not sure cute english boys exist outside of 80s new wave and noel fielding.

but i did vow to make NY work, so for now that is what i will do. i am back, having slept away the shock of transition again. vowed to detox and diet (been making smoothies for breakfast and cooking lentil soup and the like (!?)) so i don't look like a polar bear in my bikini. had a little chat at the thai restaurant below me with my nabe (who just got back from sweden), have plans to meet up with the flakier of my NY friends this week for lavish dinners and drinks (we shall see), panicking already because my contract is ending soon, thrusting me back into the scrambling and pathetic world of the unemployed, and wondering if i should take my ticket to the (seductive warmth and familiarity) of thailand in 2 weeks. another escape from NY winter? how can i say no?


lame pics here

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