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balance (2): alive

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


sometimes when i am travelling i get the sense that i am not meant to be where i am, everything just feels wrong. that is not now. i am in thailand and i feel at home! i am so exhilirated to be back in asia, which is something that i didn't really anticipate. in fact, i was so anxious in NY before i left, that i drugged myself up with xanax and lay in bed for most of the 3 days prior to my departure, and i even bought travel insurance for my trip (unprecedented) to counteract the sense of impending doom. as soon as i got on the plane though, that doom dissipated. i spent the otherwise grueling 27 hour trip chatting to a sweet taiwanese nun (who lives at a temple in new jersey), and a lovely vietnamese guy and his loquacious little daughter who got on at alaska. i fell a little in love with the latter actually, and my stomach twisted mournfully when we said our farewells at the airport in taiwan. never before have i had such a pleasant journey to the other side of the world.

now in bangkok, i have been luxuriating in the tropical warmth. gorging on the food, meeting loads of new people, getting daily massages. 10 months was way too long to be away from here, but it has made me appreciate it. i went to dig through my storage unit yesterday, the intended purpose of this whole trip, and decided to pay for 3 more months rather than closing it out, because the truth is, i think i want to live in asia again. my first instinct is to write NY off as a waste of my time. i am so not happy there. but being realistic, i just returned to it in the midst of a recession and a harsh winter. when both of those end, which is hopefully soon, things will be better there. but comparing NY to thailand, the quality of life is so lacking there! thailand definitely has it's drawbacks but the quality of life for westerners here can not be beat. ideally, i would like to work it out so i can live 30% of the time in NY, 30% in thailand, and travel the remaining %.

for some reason i am on a health kick. i have not touched a cigarette, drugs, or alcohol since arriving here, very weird in a place that normally brings out all my vices. and for some reason unbeknownst to even me, i am checking myself into a detox resort in the jungle for the next few days. i will be fasting, doing yoga, lounging in the herbal steam room or by the natural pool, getting high colonics(!), and having daily massages for a bit. i figure i might as well get into top form before i have to return to the rat race.

that might not be for awhile though. i will head to the philippines next week to see 'x'. after that, i am pretty sure i have landed another remote contract, so i can actually extend my trip here. we shall see. loving life right now, either way.


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