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balance (2): spanx lordy

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

spanx lordy

i am not as depressed anymore thank fark, because i have a lot more work to occupy my time, and i have managed to balance hiding in my room with hitting up people (and pets) that i do know more (like my thai friend 't' whom i knew for 7 years in thailand before we both moved to NY at the same time), to meet and chat and cuddle. but now that i am working full time (for a place that i have to travel upstate to once a week on the train- fun!), i am neurotic as hell!!! super analytical and meticulous and OCD, and militant about my decisions. i am being extremely prolific at work- as long as i can set my own terms to work by it is my honed focus- yay! in my room, on my bed with my laptop desk and an improvised thanksgiving dinner… but my mind is like a propeller spinning blur… hard to come down! i have to learn to soften up my approach at my job too, with people. they don’t want someone smarter than they are. nod and smile and do the job the way i think it should be done is the way to go. replace those awkward conversations with writing and documentation for my clients, and do yoga for sanity, pushing my fat dog roommate out of my room so he doesn't get his infernal white hair on my new sofa and trip me up… balance alcohol binging with whoever will have me with deep breathing in the elusive sun… and try not to get distracted by things to spend money on..... ahhh the joys of niche-finding.

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