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Monday, July 20, 2009


so somehow i have a ticket to NY all booked (woah where did the weekend go- i got lost after harry potter)... though i have no place to stay there. should be fun! woke me up out of the little trap i felt myself slipping into in boulder anyway. i will miss my little home badly, but i will always come back. like a sweet, simple lover you are not quite ready to commit to yet, is boulder. the familiarity here, so comforting, safe, kind, friendly. it would be nice to re-visit when i am old and drive the 'hop' bus around, i think, with my music, chatting to the neighbors who ride... all the niceness is a little bit deceiving though, as the housing has gotten almost as expensive as NY! & it is harder to support yourself here (basically agency x is the only decent option in the area for me. and i decided after the first month i could never commit to a place with no windows. i worked on my porch in the jungle a short walk through an amazing asian village to the beach for 4 years, for f's sake!)

i know NY will be all abuzz, probably about the economy- there is always something coming to get you there, but a sense that you will face it together, at least since 9-11, which was a very beautiful part of NY's history to me in some aspects. NY is a home too, with lots of interesting if intimidating people. i love to wander there as well and take things in- the industrial lots painted yard to roof with art, the bodegas, the gangsters with their nice shoes on the train, the hasids busily moving about in their strange costumes, the buskers providing the soundtrack in the stations, the artisans and their street stalls... but i have to hold on to the peace i have gotten from thailand and boulder, that sense of freedom that has been so hard to give up but isn't going to be available to me for awhile longer. still, if i can hop around the world on my own NY is cake. i will make my own peace. and if i don't, island hopping in the east will sound appealing again.

"what did you expect from all the places you have been?" (asks leonard cohen) "it's come to this, and wasn't it a strange way down- everywhere you went along love seemed to come along with you" (sometimes in disguise i might add, but nevertheless...) -dress rehearsal rag


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