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balance (2): lull

Sunday, June 28, 2009


pooh in june

this weekend i... slept in really late! on saturday, which i needed. didn't give a crap about the rest of the world at all, which is weird for me. my contacts were all blurry, i was hot and sweaty. luckily i snapped out of that in the afternoon, which was blissfully sunny, and ventured off onto my featured routine. it was nice, as usual. i love the library, i have spent a lot of my life in it, i think i am a bookish nerd really, but wait til i get my new glasses from ebay, i'll let you know....

i tried to take pictures of the tubers on the creek but i was too busy wanting to be one of them (though i know by now i need a helmet, a life jacket, and sturdy shoes or i will be that dead person pulled out of the water they are talking about on tv). so i went and splashed in the winnie the pooh pond and instead after that i hung out, half in the shade and half in the sun on my backpack in the grass, and read the end of my stripper book by the screenwriter of 'juno' before i dropped it off.... hmm. sleepy. i wish i had a little dog. and a car! and a tent and a sleeping bag. and a horse (do i want a horse? time to get out of colorado!) and a camper. and stripping lessons. hrmm.... but knowing me i would go tent on my own in a nice pretty field full of sunflowers and a neighborly grizzled redneck would make himself comfortable on my hood (or my horse!) and try for conversation with proferred whiskey. rrrg. it's all wrong....this kind of thing is what goes through my mind.

i looked up yoga teaching though, and going to hang upside down in treehouse retreats sounds fun. taking a totally balanced and physical approach to this new life- but there are no classes any where soon. so teaching english in japan seriously crossed my mind, but i would have to be a hostess first to survive, and as we all decided earlier in this blog i can't smoke that many cigarettes. :) and i don't like japanese perverts. hrmm...

i could be a waitress. i have a secret love of diners and have even picked out my own apron, swagger, and gum snapping twang. but college girls make better waitresses and i would be mean to people i didn't like. i could go to massage school and probably end up doing my teacher. no!!!! i could be a writer... but i don't think i could take the sadism of editors. and i would have to write novels (or travel articles) and writing means i would have to give up internet work because otherwise i am on a laptop all day and night and i would congeal into a big fat pile of misery...

i could win the lottery and open up the venue of my dreams, but that is the only way i am going to do that and buy a house up on the hill next to the cemetery. (hrmmm. too bad because it is my favorite of my potential lives)... i could spend all my money on a nice old road trip car and go driving around the u.s. visiting people. in california, down to new orleans where i get involved with the wrong crowd who turn out to be hot artistic vampires!... that is what i am tempted to do...

but i know i would really rather find someone to go with me first, and i should ultimately sit my ass down, redo my website, and send out networking emails. and tell my boss that if he only knew me in my real life he might understand... so that is what i did mostly. been trying to figure out templates on blogger sites. got mine set up, but now i need it to look right. yikes! it is a lot of work. i tried making myself a logo too but it's embarassing. might have to hire someone. but for now, i am busy.


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