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balance (2): buzz

Thursday, May 7, 2009


my office is a huge sleek warehouse which looks a bit like a prison if you squint. there are no windows!

work in an office is getting a little harder. i am starting to like it better in some ways but re-learning socialization (especially for someone used to doing whatever she wants and not having to deal with people at all if i didn't feel like it) is really very difficult. american company culture has always felt a little abrasive and uptight to me. the people are really nice but the lack of organization and the necessity of expressing yourself verbally (to people obsessed with minutiae) instead of in writing (compared to where i am coming from) kinda freaks me out. i feel lost most of the day... i just have to totally flip the way i normally work, and even think. i am part of a team now(!!!) constantly surrounded by and having to depend on people... hrmmm. it's like the difference between being a a writer for a science journal and being a writer for an ad agency (which actually my company is). i can still be analytical but i have to be a lot more creative too....... ayahhh. it is a challenge, which i am trying not to pass up because i am supercool.... it might be less overwhelming if i wasn't also doing freelance work on the side still. my brain goes into overdrive and starts smoking. i am taking it a day at a time and trying to get people to understand the transition i am making meanwhile.

i won't give up my life for a job though so i do try to keep a little life in my life. i enjoy my morning routine. i took a great yoga class the other day, looking out the window at the mountains. spent some excellent time slamming a racquetball against a wall. ride the bus everyday through the countryside and listen to peoples' conversations about their lives. eat bagels and fresh berries. listen to radio shows in between meetings. watch sitcoms and old movies. take hot baths. smoke weed on the weekends and go browsing in bookstores. oh i had microbrewed beers with my old friend 'c' who used to be a scary psychopath but is a brilliant bass player (and as it turns out, a helpful financial advisor too). he wants me to come see jane's addiction and trent reznor play in denver. he has a car so maybe i can get him to drive me through the mountains some sunny day to go tubing down the creek or something.

i'm a bit lonely otherwise. :( it's a good thing i don't have a car is all i can say, as for some reason a lot of my friends from asia are coming back to the states for awhile too. i am dying to take a road trip with one or more of them. i guess i have to wait until at least august though (maybe instead of going back to thailand right away!)....


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