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balance (2): ch-ch-ch-changes

Saturday, August 30, 2008


well, as much as i was trying to enjoy living in bangkok, it is getting to me now. if i am going to be in a city, i want to be in a real city and be making real money. i think the biggest problem here is i am in a very rare demographic- a 32 year old single white woman with no ties who works from home. not many like me in the land of sexpats. i am bored to death and lonely. so i have been exploring other options.

hawaii (which for some reason keeps popping up in my life a lot - even aside from the marathon of 'lost' on dvd i have been having this month....mmmmmmmmmmm sawyer) would be my first choice now- but reading up on it i have realized it is as expensive as NY. and i don't think i could cut it telecommuting from there as the reason i can get those jobs in thailand is that i lower my rate a bit from what i make in the states. so... there being few to no IT jobs in hawaii, i guess i am going to have to put it on hold for a bit, or just make it a vacation spot until i get some connections there. other options- japan? also expensive and i am thoroughly sick of asia. europe? nah... basically i am thinking of heading back to NYC, despite the upcoming winter! i just keep having romantic visions of a cozy little flat with a fireplace, wearing fuzzy wool socks with cinammon candles burning and billie holliday playing as the snow melts on the window... i know real life is not like that, or the novelty wears off quickly at least, but i guess i sort of miss winter, manhattan, artists and intellectuals, good food, easy money, etc....

i could be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire, as moving back to NY will take pretty much all my savings. plus there will be taxes to pay and it will be hard to convince jobs i can't come in to work in their offices (or i will go mad). and NY is very, very lonely for singles, at least for the first few months until you meet people. but i can save about triple the cash i do from thailand (giving me a lot more options), and i don't have to put up with thai idiocy. it is nice to actually be going there of my own accord rather than because i have to for once.

it will be weird to go there without 'x' (my ex- best pal for 12 years) this time. but i have been thinking about him a lot recently and though i grieve at the loss of him, i have realized what an uncaring and bad influence he has been on my life anyway. (rant censored.) so what i am thinking is it is actually a really good thing that he isn't in my life or in NY any more! and i have a clean slate to make a newer and better life for myself there, at least for a year or so. it could be good.

so thinking of heading back october 1! eep.

some recent random pics in bangkok:

art on khao san road

a bum sleeping in the street

my good friend 't' with two guys we met from NY

barbara tucker (soul singer with house djs) who we saw play at Q bar



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