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balance (2): love hurts

Saturday, January 19, 2008

love hurts

to big mama who has disappeared, i'm sorry i could not save you. you were more loyal than any human in my life.

to sick, who i have left for dead, i'm sorry i could not save you. you deserved love, not dismissal due to an inane assumption that you had bad karma.

to o, who has deteriorated into someone i would never give the time of day, i'm sorry i could not save you, though you had all the resources for saving yourself.

to m, who has abandoned himself in the face of abandonment- i promise it is not too late to save yourself. i have tried and failed and i am sorry.

to d, who is dead. i never had a chance to save you but you will always be alive to me.

to d, who will soon be dead, and who should have saved me, but ended up killing parts of me instead... i am so sorry that i was too young to know how to save you. and i am so sorry that it is far too late now.

to x, who will always save me unwittingly, i am sorry if i ever fail to save you.

...maybe it is time to save myself.

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