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balance (2): down

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

down

these little things are going to make me gain back all the weight i lost in thailand if i don't stop eating them! everything in buenos aires seems to be flavored with dulce de leche. they make these special cookies with dulce de leche filling, covered in chocolate, called 'alfajores'. they are so damned good, especially refrigerated! i particularly like the white chocolate ones. they go well with a 'capuccino con crema'.


alfajores


i figured out today what is wrong with me, i think i have been depressed! for the first time in many years! (here is where people start emailing me about being too open but hey, if you want a superficial blog go write one yourself). not being into travelling is totally blasphemous to my normal personality, which is a definite sign. i really don't like south america much, but usually i would at least try to find the good in it. besides some personal issues (which i really won't get into)- i think i am just lonely! it's weird to get to 30 and be alone i guess, but i was never the marriage and kids type. i am (by choice) disconnected from my psychotic family, my best pal and i don't see each other much, and my friends in thailand are on average 5-10 years younger than me, and are on a much different financial/priority level. when i travel, i travel more upscale than backpackers, so i get a little bit isolated from them too. and i am so shy that it is hard for me to meet locals! so, i end up spending almost all my time alone! don't get me wrong, it is nice to be alone, i like myself and all, just not all the time. i think i am just tired of it. :( not that i am gonna run out and drag someone to the altar or anything, but i am going to make an effort to make more friends who are on my same level (ie. from a western background who have the money and flexibility to move around a bit). i did meet a hot guy through the couchsurfing travel board! good start i guess, if i can muster up the confidence in myself to call him up for a drink... anyway, i am tempted to just hole up in my apartment with 'the cure' blaring and work on my portfolio and my badly neglected writing, to kick off the new year (wallowing in my morosity being a definite contingency)... but i think i also need to make the effort to keep putting myself out there, alone, until i am no longer alone, and i remember that i love the world and someone in it loves me!



my apartment in palermo hollywood

1 Comments:

Blogger elocin x said...

(from a reader who didn't want to register to post)

I have read your blog on and off for a while and was interested to see your reaction to South America. I spent a number of years traveling and living in Asia and had the same reaction to Peru/Bolivia and even Ecuador on a later trip. Peru, my first trip to S.A., was the most depressing place for me. It was beautiful, nice people, interesting, etc, yet something just didn't click. Nepal would be the Asian equivalent as you mentioned, yet has a very different feeling. I was reaaaaally depressed at being alone while in S.A., something I never experienced in Asia, despite a lot of solo traveling there.

I have a weird theory that it's the light that doesn't feel right, but that can't really be it. Don't know the reason, but I completely relate to everything you've written about S.A.and it is really interesting to me to see someone have the same reaction. I think Asia spoiled me for every other continent because it feels like home and everything other continent feels like...not home.

... I just thought I would email as I thought it was just me but it was weird to see another "Asiaphile" have the same reaction to South America. Hope you enjoy Argentina (have not been there.) Take care.

C

7:33 AM  

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