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balance (2): November 2006

Sunday, November 26, 2006

write

a writer writes a writer writes a writer writes. what if a writer doesn't write? then they become a failed writer i guess. it's hard to come up with discussions, most of all. i have a hard enough time in real life, spluttering shyly just at the edge of hearing level and turning red while people roll their eyes and walk off. it's hard to build characters, except mine, and that only happens in my head. i don't know anything about other characters! though i am fascinated by them, over all people mystify me! i am analytical but that might be the most boring of personality traits- how to see past all that analysis of myself and start creating others'- phew! i would rather curl up in my bed with a can of beer! i am wondering if a book is an unrealistic first goal. thinking....

Saturday, November 18, 2006

yikes!

i was considering gong back to NY to work for some time, but there really is no need to, other than to binge on various farang aspects of life (still may take a short trip). i have a total of 8 projects going right now, with 4 different companies in the US, one of which is HP and which pays me the same rate that i might get in NY anyway. rainy season this year is brilliant so far so i am just enjoying the peace, the beautiful days, and the time i have to work my arse off. i have finally gotten to exactly where i want to be at this time! i have the luckiest life ever.


my yard, rainy season

Saturday, November 11, 2006

break

i kept meaning to take pictures but forgot at all the good parts. keep meaning to write but it slips my mind. i feel like i went on vacation to the twilight zone- am back today from the long garish party amongst the two-faced aliens in la-la land. bangkok was mad as it usually is. it brings out the capitalist in me. suddenly i can't live without air con, au bon pain, bookstores and overpriced dinners with miniscule portions and fake subservient smiles overlooking the polluted river. i even had pangs for NY as my tuk tuk passed buskers and chinese flower shops and yuppies free on lunch break.


halloween

mi came with me, my 'gig' of six months (is that like an oxymoron?)... we were hoping to find reasons not to move in together (and in the end, succeeded admirably). he had never been out of his small village in krabi except to run away and work in koh lanta (where i first met him twirling fire and serving cocktails) and koh phangan (where we met again in the frenzy of a songkran water fight a couple years later). i took him to sushi bars, art cafes. showed him superhighways and airplanes. we pet the giant statues at wat po. we snuggled under quilted blankets and a/c, and translated cable tv to each other. we went on boat rides to the shopping mall, where we spent far too many hours playing video games and eating ice cream. i bought him books to enrich his mind and we read them on the bus to cambodia where i acquired a visa by the skin of my teeth and where we watched kids sniff glue on the railroad tracks and tried to speak khmer to the noodle soup ladies. we had spats over the look of each others' faces at the end of long days thrown together being indecisive in the heat. we put masks over our masks and became sexually devious for halloween. he told me i was old (i am 8 years older than him), i told him he was an idiot when he was drunk (he is). i paid far too much money and wondered if ever someone will ever finance their friendship with me. i kissed him for hours on end and scolded him for coming too quickly.


tonsai beach

krabi was beautiful, and nightmarish. the geography is world renowned, i read in a magazine. mi and i hid in the hotel at first, afraid of gawking families and 200 baht per plate ripoff joints. the rocky cliffs loom threateningly over sweet dark water and velvet beaches. the city is cruised by young thai boys on motorbike who make motions of blow jobs at foreign girls. mi was embarassed to introduce me to his family. i stood awkwardly in the corner, unaware we were even at his house. we were rained upon several times on treks through the wild landscapes on motorbike. we snuck past the national park fees. our kratongs drowned within 5 seconds when we floated them hopefully down the river on loy kratong. the shores were roamed by dark people with rude looks. i escaped mi and hijacked a boat to tonsai with malee. she tried to be upstanding and normal but the pisshead in her shows through every time. she ditched work to oogle the bar boy and the potential paintings. we were scammed by the boat mafia on the way back. i kept thinking people were trying to drag us off to rape. she kept looking at me weirdly when i said inane things about it. we were the only farangs in the thai pubs. we were pulled on stage to dance with the ladyboys. mi had to drive us all home drunk. my friend peed the bed because she has only one kidney.

i realized that my friends will never be any more perfect than i, and thus not worth having (?!). i was happy to come home alone to puppy and a massage from my friend lee, and bed.

(added 12/1) a couple of people commented that i didn't really give any info on krabi. so- krabi town is like any other thai town, not much of interest there other than one small street of cafes which was nice to sit and sip a coffee at. the nightlife everywhere i went in krabi was along the lines of thai style pubs- meaning 50b buckets of ice and expensive whiskey, dancing katoeys, bad music blasting. not much for tourists. ao nang is the main tourist spot and has no relation to thailand at all except for being located in it. it was annoying and overpriced. there is one small soi next to the irish rover bar which has cheap and nice rooms. it was hard to find good thai food for less than 200b a plate. we took a boat to railey beach which was ok, overrated really, completely trashed. tongsai beach was very nice though, amazing scenery, laid back people, rustic feel. it was the only spot i found worth making the trip to krabi for (though just boating around in the area is a great couple of days out too).

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