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balance (2): distraught

Thursday, February 9, 2006

distraught

my neighbors poisoned my best friend... he was sick two days ago and i stayed up all night with him, sleeping with my arms around his neck and telling him i loved him and everything would be ok... the next morning he really seemed ok, so i went on a visa run to burma that took me almost 2 days... about an hour before i returned he died. my friends (to whom he wandered) tried to help him but said he suffered horribly for that 2 days... i feel so guilty for not being with him. he was a good dog, my favorite. he will be horribly horribly missed.

between this and 'o', who has really shown his true colors lately, i am feeling pretty bad about thailand.


RIP khao baby

4 Comments:

Blogger scott said...

BASTARDS! What a cruel thing for them to slowly poison an innocent creature. This happens frequently in Hong Kong; their are numerous signs warning dog owners. I never encountered this behavour when I lived in Thailand, though. Hope you will be okay.

2:46 AM  
Blogger LA_FadeAway said...

I'm soooo sorry to hear about your dog. That's just brutal. Losing a pet is always way more difficult than people (who haven't been through it) can imagine. It's like losing part of your family. Hang in there and feel free to give your neighbor a stiff kick in the nuts.

11:41 PM  
Blogger elocin x said...

i wish i could convey what a quagmire of conflicting and powerful emotions i went through in the week following my doggie's death. i have never had close dealings with death (with the exception of a dying ex boyfriend from whom i escaped before it became too much of a reality), and it is especially challenging to deal with that of a being that loves you unconditionally, is totally loyal, and trusts you to take care of them in return. what a big part of your soul is torn and punctured- more pain than i wanted to admit! i wrassled with guilt a bit. swallowed a lot of rage. questioned the meaning of life if all that is great will only die, and is helped along by twisted humanity... but there is something so beautiful about death that i never expected and can't really explain. i think it might be the balance inherent in it. how it makes you appreciate life. a hard lesson to learn but one i would not regret or change. maybe someone out there who has lost someone close to them knows what i mean.

9:41 AM  
Blogger alyce said...

I think you put it well. so sorry for your loss. Life is bittersweet and it is the great losses in life that truly make us appreciate everyone and everything we have left...or you turn bitter and depressed. I lost my father on my 13th birthday and my mother died a painful death to cancer when I was 31. I have lost a few pet dogs as well as an ex boyfriend to drug overdose. must say all were painful losses and losing a beloved pet has the added pain of such an innocent being suffering - all sucks.

made me grow up fast and learn to say I love you to all those I care about. life is too short to not live and love fully. hope you feel better soon elocin

xoxo
alyce

4:36 PM  

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