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balance (2): spinning

Friday, November 11, 2005

spinning

i have been waiting for the full moon to reappear so i get some of my mental clarity back- i am just too scattered and useless until then to post anything too extensive or interesting.

in the past couple of weeks i have moved from one side of my happy island to the much better other side (at the beach! thong nai pan). i live smack dab in the middle of the village, surrounded by thai-speaking, sarong-wearing, betel-nut-chewing old grandparents peeking into my windows and burning the bushes around me at all hours. their yards are full of chickens, rabbits, mongooses (or is it mongeese?), and assorted other peculiar wildlife, including about 6 new mongrels who have adopted me and my puppy-dog as their best food-providing pals... the day i moved in a karaoke bar coincidentally opened right next door- sigh. i don't understand the attraction of karaoke in the first place, let alone for those who couldn't carry a tune, but there is a certain charm to listening to their hopeless squawking at all hours of the night (not). otherwise, my new house is huge and pretty nice for 5000b/mo., except that it has a grotesque thai style bathroom (squat toilets are not my favorite and a bucket of water rather than a spray hose doesn't cut it for me, use your imagination to figure out why). but i have farang-ified it a bit by putting in UBC cable and ADSL internet, and i paid a guy to set up hot water (though so far he seems to have destroyed my entire water system and disappeared). i can walk to the loveliest beach in about one minute, and though all my friends are gone on vacation in this the height of monsoon season, i am anticipating happy reunions in the next month, with lots of cheery cocktails under the moon.

i also was laid off from my american job (last quarter, it's inevitable) and was offered a new one by my boss in the same week. hmm! such luck! i am offering my guardian angel sexual favors in hopes that it lasts!

...but the biggest thing that happened was that i finally and successfully kicked out 'o'! yessiree boys and girls, i am not such a fool after all. when he disappeared again for a couple of days with no word and then raised his fists threateningly at me when i complained upon his return, i took a sober stock of the situation and a whole lot of emotions i thought i might have for him conveniently slipped away. it was not easy to get rid of him peacefully, and i had to pay his rent on a new place, unfortunately in the same village (he refused to leave otherwise)... but he is officially out of my house and good riddance to him. though i care about him and his welfare (a bit too maternally in retrospect), i am tired of his taking advantage of that fact, and i have realized he doesn't care about me much at all beyond my pocketbook, so, adios. the challenge is going to be to keep him away! he has already developed a habit of dropping by whenever he pleases to watch tv or smoke on the porch. i think i will have to find another man, of similar education, interests, and ambition as i have this time (who is hopefully smoking hot as well), and flaunt him a bit before 'o' really gets the hint and gets his own life. but hey- it's high season soon and the scandinavian boys will be coming in droves. i am not too worried.

the past week i actually left koh phangan on a visa trip, first to bangkok to take care of some personal business (where i fell in love with the dirty, chaotic city all over again and had second thoughts about my island), and then to penang malaysia, where i am now acquiring another triple entry tourist visa for thailand. it is so nice to have time to myself, and i miss travelling so much. though i don't particularly like penang much and in an effort to avoid the hissing obscenities spouted by loitering indian and muslim men i have spent most of the time holed up in my hotel room working. but things are starting to fall into place. i plan to spend december and january on koh phangan (my baby sister is coming to visit me too!), save as much money as i can, and in spring of next year maybe get back on the road and see what i can see.

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