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balance (2): ot

Monday, March 7, 2005

ot

i stumbled upon ot's name in a (brilliant) thai dictionary online. the definition is:

òt-
abstain ; avoid ; refrain
bear ; endure ; tolerate ; stand
miss ; fail to ; not get a chance to

somehow that seems so appropriate. :) the kid has been missing for over a week now. i assume he ran home to mommy- it could be another girl but i don't really think so, he has spent too much time with me in the past couple of months to have time for that. i find this behavior horridly childish and pathetic, but according to a couple of thai people i have spoken to (ot's best friends in fact, with whom i ended up drinking two nights ago), it is a common reaction amongst thais to run away and hide when they lose face. argh. believe me, i wanted him to leave, and get his own life so we could balance out a bit... but i don't want him gone completely from my life! that's a totally different story.... i suppose i embarassed him by pointing out that i have supported him for way too long and it was time for him to grow up and get a job. besides the fact that i am fanatically honest and admitted kissing his friend (stupid, i guess). i suppose it is for the best, it has been a nice week! and the cultural differences are really a huge obstacle that i don't think we will ever overcome. neither of us trust each other and it is hard to have a relationship based on little trust.

anyway, on a brighter note, i suddenly have a plethora of upcoming job opportunities here. right now i am making enough with little projects to sustain myself, and hopefully the bigger projects will be materializing shortly. for now i am working from home with my high speed internet, with the doors and windows open. i can hear birds chirping, the occasional alley cat screeching, the thai ladies sweeping out their shacks, their children laughing and singing as they play badminton in the lot, the breeze pushing through the trees. i have a fridge full of leo beer that i am making my way through, and vh-1 is playing old 80s music videos... not too bad!

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