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balance (2): smack

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

smack

on the way to a black moon party i was only half interested in i noticed the driver had a large chang beer resting in his drinkholder, and the pick up taxi was brand spanking new. perhaps that is why he decided to drive 100km/hr. down a very small winding road... all i know is we hit a boy head on in what was almost an exact repeat of my last accident a month ago. accidents are funny.... there is a whole 60 seconds or so prior when you get this weird feeling that something is wrong, and all of the sudden everything goes slo-mo. you know exactly what will happen but are powerless to stop it. i grabbed ot's leg and ducked about a full minute before the burmese kid was thrown halfway across the island and landed crumpled and bleeding.

i won't get into the rest of the story, but the boy is alive in ko samui hospital. and probably destitute for the rest of his life, being from burma. sigh. we ended up going to the party where all the good medicines failed and the wind blew in ominous clouds. road somberly home at first light in a truck with a smashed front end.

this reminds me that i read a story in the bangkok post about all the burmese immigrants who were victims of the tsunamis... they can't let the thai government know they are here because the thai government will send them back to their own evil government, so they are dealing with starvation, illness, and injury, not to mention shock, in makeshift camps around the area. it's times like these i wonder why someone as generous as i feel does not have anything to offer. hello 'god', a little balance here?

i didn't go to malaysia, giving up a plane ticket back to bangkok. tomorrow i take the night ferry to burma instead. i have a lot of pressure from everyone to buy a partnership in the bar i am practically living at, and it's one of those things that i can unfortunately see from every neurotic angle, and i am no closer at all to making any plans to leave.


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