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balance (2): peace

Sunday, December 19, 2004


party tonight. it’s like the jah bar all over again, though the people are much better here than they were there. at least i can consider them friends. whit even drove to pick us up when arrived yesterday morning via nightbus and ferry, loaded down with most of ot’s personal belongings (had to bribe the driver to let us carry them). he is here for good, planning to work at whit’s bar (lucky him). i went back to central cottage to find another dreamy bungalow. this one is also right on the beachfront, and my dog happy took about 2.5 minutes to race over, jump all over me, and plop herself down to sleep on the porch.

a shower and a smoke later i felt twenty thousand times better than the entire last week combined.

we escaped the welcome but stifling heat later to the blue oasis, up in the leafy jungle. whit was happy to see us back and i gave him the muay thai punching bag and gloves i had bought for the bar. i collapsed in a hammock and he put on bob marley. otto and i relaxed finally. i even caught him smiling at me every now and then.

an old german couple traipsed up later on. germans are the dorkiest of travellers. german men seem to all have big round bellies and long skinny legs with knobby knees. they wear embarrassingly short cutoffs and socks with their flipflops. and an open shirt to reveal their flabby physiques. also, only german men seem to have mustaches these days. their wives are inevitably fat but pleasant, talkative but submissive. this couple was no exception. the man kept shouting “live your life!”, and the woman sat quietly knitting a shawl in her lap. they drank about 16 fruit shakes combined.

so it was surprising to see a tall, handsome man join them a few minutes later. i had to do a doubletake because i first thought he was thai- turns out he is half thai half german (a popular combination). i was torn between being irrationally and uncontrollably attracted to him and wondering how he felt having a mother who was in all likelihood a prostitute. he looked like keanu reeves. he must have sensed i was interested in him because he came and sat right down next to me. sigh. i made some smalltalk with him and then dutifully made it known i was with otto. not that i am. not that we are physically engaged or anything. but he is living in my bungalow so what can i do.

anyway back to tonight. i have spent most of the day alone, with exception of a long luxurious swim (occasionally punctuated by tiny jellyfish stings) and a laying out on the sunny white sand with ot. i snapped at him for chewing with his mouth open (he brings out the total bitch in me) and he harumphed and took off for the bar early on. i will go up later and help him bartend and fend off girls. overall, it’s a good thing i am leaving in a couple of weeks, but for now i am feeling alive again.


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