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Monday, November 8, 2004

:(

i am torn between trying as hard as i can to stay here (ie. getting an apartment and really attempting to make an idea work) or just enjoying the month and a half i have left and resigning myself to going back to the US in january. if i followed my heart i would stay here, of course, but it's not that simple. i have to send $500/month home to pay a debt. and any salary i might make here would not be much more than that a month! the only way i could possibly do it is if i was able to find something that paid at least 60,000 baht ($1500) per month, and that is not likely. i have been trying, and with my efforts it could be possible to make this amount eventually.... but i can't wait long for it to kick in. sigh.... i really really don't want to go home. i have not a single reason to go home except money- i can't take the crippling loneliness and feeling of disgust at the rat race there any longer. i don't know what to do but it doesn't seem anything is going to fall into my lap.

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