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balance (2): static

Friday, August 6, 2004

static

everything i have written today (including this blog entry) has mysteriously deleted itself every time i've gone to save it. instead of a guardian angel i have a scheming demon.

i am bottlenecked if you want to know. i have a lot of stuff in to get out. everyone in new york is an artist or musician or writer or model or actor... i mean everyone has outlets and mine doesn't quite seem to have me on tap. must be lovely to birth an idea and then share it. i fizz quietly on the inside.

anyway if someone knows how to remedy the absolute lack of an attention span (focus) then please, please share.

i kissed a beautiful boy last night. many times. he makes me crazy after having been so reclusive for the past- has it been 6 months already? he has black hair that flops over one eye. with him i feel like (heh heh) a ghost among people. i have to color myself in but can't quite manage to get there.





x is gone again, i tricked him into going to chicago instead of me. he called me up to say he has a real live not-paid-for date too tonight! i hope she's hot and she loves him. love is in the air. yay!

i like my house alone. i pace around it making plans and contriving conversations in my head.

i haven't had the urge to travel for...days now. i think i might be floundering a bit but i am enjoying it.

off to find a film to slip into.

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